Dear Future Self…

Dear Future Self (approximately one year in the future to be exact):

How are you? I hope the answer to that question is happy. I am happy right now, and I can only hope I find ways to be happy 1 year from now too.
You are beautiful. You have days when you don’t believe that, but you are. The best beauty comes from happiness, hence why I hope you are happy. 
Life throws curve balls. It also throws fast balls, and sometimes even gentle lobs right across the plate. I hope you take a swing at each one, give it your best. Sometimes you’ll strike out. Sometimes, you’ll hit a home run. Either way, it’s the effort you put behind the bat that counts. So keep swinging.
Don’t be afraid to love. It’s the best thing you can give someone. They may not understand that, but you do. So sprinkle around all the capacity in your heart and hopefully it will brighten someone’s day. Don’t be afraid of the risk involved with loving someone. Take the leap. Even if you end up crashing, for a few glorious seconds, you’ll get to fly. And that’s worth any hurt that comes from a fall. And who knows, maybe someone will catch you.
Forgive. Open your heart to letting someone move through their past and become a better person. Allow them that chance. Finding the heart to let someone be new, gives you that same opportunity. 
Promise me that you’ll spend your time pursuing good things, reaching for the best and the brightest star. Don’t ever forget that you CAN achieve anything. 
Never forget that there is a God in Heaven who loves you. 
Love,
Me (from one year ago, to be exact)

It’l be worth it, all this time

January 9, 2013.

It was one year ago today that I said goodbye to my best friend. There aren’t words to explain that day, and most of me doesn’t want to relive it.

As hard as this past year has been, it has been good. So very good. I have spent the past year learning, laughing, crying, dating, playing, working, exploring, missing, supporting, helping, and mostly growing. I know more about myself know than I did a year ago. And I think it’s safe to say that Elder Low does too. I can’t say what this next year will bring, but I do know that there’s a boy in Japan who means the world to me, and that he’s doing so many good things there.

People ask me if I regret anything, and the answer is no. Every choice has lead me here, and I’m happy and so is he. People ask me if I would do things differently. I think there are some things I wish were different, but nothing really that I have control over.

Everything happens for a reason. I tell myself that every single day. And I have already found a million reasons why this trial has been a blessing. Not seeing or even really talking to your best friend for 2 years is hard. But in the past year I think I’ve grasped a little more the good things that come.

People are going to form their own opinions, and I can’t do anything about that. I know that I’m happy, Randy is happy, and the past year has been good to both of us. I’m sure this next year will be too.

I don’t know what the future holds. I won’t pretend that I do. I just know that I know Randy will continue to be an awesome missionary, and I’ll continue living my life and loving it.

Maybe in a year we’ll be back to doing Chili’s runs, back to singing while you play the guitar, back to me asking you what outfit to wear, back to you taking out the trash while I cook you dinner, back to parking lot dancing, screaming our favorite songs in the car, frozen hot chocolates, and endless scheming, back to goodnight texts instead of letters, back to calls in between classes, back to long walks, back to shopping, seeing shows, eating dinner, and just enjoying time together. I sure hope so.

Happy 1 year down Elder Low. I couldn’t be more proud of you!

Reflections

Tonight I’m reflecting. You’ll find out why tomorrow.

School is going so well! It’s hard, but I really like it. I’m delving into broadcasting and it’s everything I wanted it to be.

I have an interview to be an EFY Counselor tomorrow. Wish me luck!

Also, I find I’m not a very nice person when I don’t get enough sleep. So I’ll be working on that.

I also have time to read. It’s blessed. I don’t expect it to last, but for this moment, novels are my good night kiss.

There’s this song that I fell in love with. You say you don’t like Taylor Swift? Guess again. Because you do. She’s so spot on it’s disgusting.
Happy Wednesday everyone!
And Happy Birthday Rebecca darling:)

Friends and family

Today, one of my best friends bore his testimony in Church about friendships. He talked about the friends he was seeing for the first time in years, the ones he left when coming to Utah, and the new friends he’s made here. He talked about how they are like family to him. I, being the cry baby I am, started bawling.

I love my family and I miss them when I’m gone.

But it is so nice to have a Provo family here. People I can rely on to be there for me, to listen to me when I’m upset, to help me whenever I need it, to laugh with me and cry with me, everything. I love where I live and I am so lucky that I decided to move in here. I’m so lucky that I took the classes that I did, that I’ve made the friends that I have, and that those friends have become my family.

If you aren’t pictured above, don’t fret. You are still my friend turned family member. I just don’t want to rummage through every picture;) 
So thanks 2013 for bringing me these great friends, and here’s hoping 2014 keeps the old and brings in some new friends too.
Happy Sunday everyone!
PS–you CAN be friends with an ex. It’s possibly the best thing ever.
PSS–Elder Low gets home in 368 days. Not like I’m counting or anything.

Vague prose

Hello there friends!

I haven’t posted in a few days, because I have done nothing. Haha it’s true! I’ve been at home and then back to Provo, reading and baking and letter writing my days away. It’s been a blast, let me tell you!
But I have to say a few things.
Sometimes people do things to deliberately hurt you. I don’t understand it, maybe they think they’re doing those around you a favor. Maybe they think they’re doing you a favor. Either way, it’s not right. And it’s not helpful. 
So I’m working on forgiving and forgetting. But I’m also not going to be naive. 
Ok enough of the morbid, vague prose. 
On a happy note, I still have two whole days of relaxation before school starts. Count your blessings, am I right? 
Anyway, happy Friday everyone!

2k14

It’s 2014. How weird is that?? I remember last New Year’s perfectly. It doesn’t feel like it was that long ago.

So to celebrate the new year, here is a moment from each month of 2013. These will be good, promise:)

January I said goodbye to my best friend. It was a really hard month, but getting those first few letters was the best!

February was filled with school and an awesome Valentine’s Day. The Robed Five made us girls feel so special!

March was filled with trips to the cabin, laughing, studying, and becoming best friends.
April was crazy with finals, saying goodbye to roommates and wardies, and finishing my first year of college!!

May had the best vacation ever with my girls, and moving back home, spending time with my family!
June was full of working, ballet recitals, and a flying trip to Idaho which was way too fun!

July was full of partying, working, and lots of mission farewells!
August I said goodbye to Cherry Hill, and Randy and I hit two years of dating!

September I started my second year at BYU, celebrated my 20th birthday, and said goodbye to Al.

October I made some amazing friends, said goodbye to Lau, got into my major, and worked on Student Alumni, plus got a job for BYU Radio.

November found me busy, busy, busy, with a little time at the end of the month for family and The Nutcracker!

And December was full of finals, Christmas, goodbyes and hellos, missing Randy, and lots of love. 

Yeah it’s safe to say that 2013 was really good to me. It was hard, stressful, and there were lots of tears. But there was also lots of fun, laughter, late night talks, and adventures. I wouldn’t change a thing that happened this year. And I can’t wait for the adventures 2014 will bring. 
All I can say is…
Happy 2014 everyone!

Cards and candy bets

Family time rocks. As you can see.

This break has been so fun and full of games and food and movies and more fun. Now I have a few more days of relaxing and then back to reality.

Cousin game night? Heck yeah

Also, Chinese night? It’s almost more popular than Christmas dinner with our family.
Friends, sometimes things happen. Things change. People realize things and learn about themselves. And that’s ok. It’s good. It’s hard, but it’s good. The best thing to do is embrace it and move forward. On the same page, happy, and content with the fact that the future will happen and that’s ok. 
Anyway enough of my vague ranting. 
Happy Sunday everyone!
Also: Randy Low has been out for one year, in two weeks. I KNOW RIGHT?!?!?!?!?!

So this is Christmas, I hope you had fun…

I didn’t take enough pictures this Christmas. I think I was just trying to live in the moment instead of snap a million photos. Which is ok too, I think. Luckily I have just a few to show you what Christmas in my house is like!

We ❤ the snow

First of all, there was Christmas Eve. Which was full of games and movies with Drew, food and family, singing Christmas carols in candle light, opening a wonderful new book, an email from my favorite missionary full of the sweetest things, and a package from him too (he still knows how to shop for me!) and finally, having a good spiritual moment with my family before Santa came.

Then Christmas morning was full of tears as my dad read his favorite Christmas book, matching Nativity sets, laughing and yelling as presents were opened, hot chocolate and candy, and of course the Stocking Exchange. Basically I love my family and this time of year, and the chance we get to spend it together.

My cute sister got me a blazer that I’ve been DYING to have. My sisters are the best!

Next T-Swift right here

Merry Christmas!

And happy Friday everyone!

Eve of the Eve

It’s Christmas Eve Eve. I try to be funny sometimes.

Basically the weekend has been a whirlwind. I’ve shopped FAR too much, ate a lot, spent time with Drew’s awesome family, saw a movie with mine, made a sassy snowman with my sisters (his name is Pauool. He’s great) and a million other things I can’t even remember now.
Basically being home from school is the best. Now all I have to do is bake cookies and wrap presents and figure out my schedule for next semester. Nothing big;)
With Christmas coming on so fast, I just wanted to share some thoughts I had on the season. We hear all the time that we need to put the Christ back in Christmas. This year, Drew really helped me do that. He wanted to give service to someone else every Monday in December. We had so much fun serving others. And it was even more fun to look forward to the next service experience. It made me realize how important it is to do things for others, and not just this time of the year. So maybe one of my New Year’s Resolutions will be about serving others so I don’t lose this awesome feeling. 
On another note, Christmas Eve at my house means one of my favorite holiday traditions, which you can read about over at Hannah’s blog, Words as Palindromes. BUT also, books. I love  that we get a book every Christmas Eve. It’s something exciting that I love and my mom is brilliant for starting this tradition.
So the tree is trimmed, family’s are gathering together, and life is good. 
Happy Christmas Eve Eve, and happy Monday!
P.S. In two weeks, Randy will have been gone for a year. GET READY FOLKS.