There was a war going on in a faraway land. Brave knights and ladyknights fought long and hard to win a battle. There was on ladyknight who was a little scared, very unsure about her role in the war. She had many people fighting with her who she loved and respected very much. They helped her fight and become stronger. She was so grateful to those people for all they were doing to help her as they fought this scary war against the enemy.

Some of the fighters she was closer to than others. She told them where she felt weak, she told them everything really.

Sometimes they listened.

Other times they didn’t.

She had many people fighting with her who cared and she knew that. But she only trusted a few.

One day during a particularly scary battle, the ladyknight was afraid. Things had been spiraling downhill a bit in this particular time, and she knew she was weak. She reached out to a few knights and ladyknights and they helped. So very much.

And then, in a moment when she felt safe and secure, she realized she was alone and she was ok. Because she knew they were all close by.

And then.

The knife in her back.

One friend turned into an enemy right before her eyes.

And celebrated that she was no longer happy, no longer felt safe or secure.

And gloried in her fall.

So one time I took the Hamlet test. HARDEST TEST OF MY LIFE.

Enough about Hamlet.

This weekend was super fun! Friday night I went to We the Kings and Mayday Parade. And it was AWESOME!!!!! We the Kings drummer broke his arm, so their whole set was basically accoustic. HECK YES. I loved it! Then Mayday Parade got up. I had already heard more swear words than I was comfortable with and I was worried his mouth was also going to be filthy and that I would have to lose respect for him. And then a funny thing happened.

He didn’t swear.

Not once.

And I appreciated it so much.

Then I went with Randy to Chili’s because I really wanted some chips and a molton chocolate cake. It was a good decision.

I realized that Randy sometimes just does what I want because he knows it will make me happy. And I appreciate that 🙂

Saturday morning I went to the Stake Women’s Conference. I wasn’t very excited to go.

But then something funny happened.

It was really great.

There were talks and musical numbers. Talks about having the Spirit with you all the time and making sure you’re safe from the worldly things that are sure to come your way. Then our Stake President gave a talk about modesty. Keep in mind that it was mostly Relief Society women in attendance. And he had to talk about being modest. It’s so much bigger of a deal than anybody wants to say it is. I need to work on being more modest all the time. I know I have some shorts and skirts that are definitely not ok and I need to get rid of them.

And then we broke off into workshops. I went with my mom and we went to three really great workshops taught by people in my stake. The first one was about communicating with love and respect. I can work on this big time! Then I went to one about cooking for small families, which I will soon be, so I got some great information there. Then the last one was about establishing family traditions. I realized that in not too long I’ll be a part of a brand new family and I’ll have to set traditions for not only holidays and such, but for every single day. And it scared me a bit. But it’s exciting to think about too.

Then I messed around at home with my cousins. Chinese food with the cousins was very yummy 🙂 Then off to Morgan’s where things went a little weird, but it was still very fun 🙂

All in all, I wouldn’t say FIE to this entire weekend. Just the Hamlet test.

The little girl looked up at the cabinet. She really wanted a glass of water. And not in the plastic cups well within her reach. She wanted a big girl cup. The pretty clear and heavy cup. Cold and smooth. Perfect. She just wanted to get up there and grab it. She wanted a cool long drink. She was just a little girl. She didn’t know how hard it would be to reach it.

So she got a stool and stood on it tall, then painstakingly rolled onto the counter. She shakily tried to stand, then had to squat back down to allow the cabinet door to open. With the door open, she stood again, holding the shelves to balance herself. She reached on tip toes for the glass. Then again. The third time, she gripped a glass. A beautiful, crystal glass. She grasped it with both hands and smiled at her accomplishment. She looked over the edge of the counter to see the way back down.

Then it slipped.

Her sweaty hands tried to reposition the thick round glass into a firmer grasp.

But it kept slipping.

Slipping.

Then.

It fell.

Down, down, down, down. And she watched it. Perfectly aware of what was going to happen and also knowing she had no control. Over any of it.

It fell down, down.

And she sat in perfect silence,

she watched everything shatter.

Sometimes I go and take pictures with Hailee, Randy, and Katelyn in Bountiful. Well it’s only happened once, but you catch my drift. It was wonderful. Running around FREEZING and trying to smile as the wind was blowing my hair around. It was great fun. And then Hailee stopped by and brought me brownies and the rest of the pictures, and this note. This note that made me realize what a wonderful person she is. She wrote about this year being the year to find out who is going to be there for me, how just listening to me and Randy talk, she knew that whatever happened between us, he’d always have my back. She wrote about always having the Gospel and the Savior on my side. And she wrote that she hoped I knew that she was always there for me. I adore this girl so much.

And she got me thinking. I’m not being the kind of friend I should be. It was ironic that she gave me that note when she did, because just two days earlier I had been thinking about friendships and what was going to last and what wasn’t. Her note was inspired I think. She’s an inspired individual.

And I want to be more like her.

So this weekend has been a LONG weekend. Full of good things and bad. Thursday night we went to Smed’s house for her birthday and had tons of fun 🙂 Randy and I cried off early because we both didn’t feel great, but it was still a good night.

Then Friday my parents went out of town for Valentine’s Day. And we celebrated my best friend’s birthday! Bandy came over and baked a cake and played games and went to the store with me. It was lots of fun :)Then out to dinner where we got some bittersweet news. I got into BYU and Randy didn’t. I’m excited but at the same time really unsure about how to feel. Everything’s going to work out and we both know that they will, but it’s a little bit hard. But bowling and photobooth pictures afterwards made it ok 🙂 We watched Step Up 3 and then I went to bed, exhausted.

Saturday…Bandy and I are legal 🙂 I ran around cleaning my house and then went to Zuppas with Kira and Megan and Shayli. It was so much fun 🙂 I love those girls with all of my heart. They were dying to know about BYU and my date night. It was lots of fun. Then Randy and I fed duckies and had hot chocolate with his family, which was fun. Dinner and She’s the Man with my sisters…off to Tim’s house to chill with all my productions friends, Emi and Ash and Hailee and Morg stopped by. I haven’t spent as much time with them lately as I would like. I’m not really sure why that is….we’re all busy. Maybe I should put more effort in.

Church today was good. I love playing for Primary. The kids are so great 🙂 A cute newlywed couple spoke in Sacrament Meeting and they were so fun. I just love the Gospel, and I’m not very verbal about that. But I do. I have so many things that I’m grateful for.

So Valentine’s Day was yesterday. And it was AMAZING. Randy and I went on our date last weekend and that was wonderful. Then my family had a great Valentine’s Day morning and off to school, which was actually not bad. Then Randy and I exchanged gifts. He wrote me a song and played it on his guitar and sang along. I died and went to heaven a little bit….and then he got me chocolate and a beautiful necklace and earrings. Basically it was the best Valentine’s Day ever…and there’s more 🙂

So besides having a sweet guy be great to me all day and eating lots of chocolate, I went to the Lady Antebellum concert. It was, in a word….amazinglywonderfullyperfect.

All the songs are AMAZING. Thompson Square was there 🙂 All in all, it was just wonderful. I went with my sister and it was the bomb.com. Except for the crazy drunk lady sitting next to us, but she was entertaining. 🙂

Melanie loved apple pie and strawberries dipped in chocolate. She loved sunshine and the smell of rain and being in an airplane when it started to land. Melanie had a goal to smile about fifteen things every single day.

One day Melanie had a very hard day. She couldn’t find a lot to smile about. The sun wasn’t shining but the rain wasn’t pouring either. She hadn’t gone anywhere in a very long time. There were no birds singing and no interesting talk shows on the radio.

So Melanie made apple pie.

She took a bite.

That was all fifteen things to smile about in one.

So last night I went and saw The Vow. It was really hard to watch, but incredible. I loved it. And it really got me thinking. In the show, they talk about moments of impact. And so I thought I should probably keep track of some of my moments of impact.

-My first memory is playing with Jennifer and Ashley in the front yard. I don’t know how old I was. It was a good day 🙂

-Kindergarton. Playing with Lydia and Ken on the little toy and Mrs. Newman reading stories. I remember going to ballet and skipping and jumping and being spghetti and being in our house behind the bar. Meeting Carly.

-First Grade. Mrs. Child telling my mom I was a good writer, but I should write about real things not just pretend things. I wasn’t sure what she meant, the things I was writing about were real to me.

-Second Grade. I remember Dylan inviting me to his birthday parties, Mr. W’s stories and his glass eye, talking about the Olympics, and getting baptized. I remember wanting to not do anything wrong ever so I would never be unclean.

-Third Grade. I remember going into Spectrum for the first time. Not really knowing anybody, then becoming friends with some girls. That was a moment of impact. I remember getting hit in the face with a soccer ball and being chosen to be the lead part for the third graders in the play.

-Fourth grade moment of impact was loving to write. Being in the play. Being the judge and newspaper writer in our mini-state.

-Fifth grade moments of impact were realizing that people in my old school thought I was different.

-Sixth grade moments of impact were dancing with boys, being the lead in the play, playing soccer with the boys at recess.

-Seventh grade was hard. Trying to fit back in, loving junior high but also hating it, running track and trying to make new friends but always wanting to stay with the old. Going to the temple.

-Eighth grade was full of drama. I remember loving yearbook even though sometimes I know they were talking about me. I pretended not to notice or not to care. I remember walking around the neighborhood and summer days when the boys came and sat on my front porch. My patriarchal blessing.

-Ninth grade I remember too many things. Things I’d rather forget, even though they were all moments of impact. I do remember writing a paper about Charlotte Bronte and absolutely loving to write it.

-Sophomore year. I remember being excited for high school, working at Cherry Hill, Mrs. Hall telling me she really liked me as a student. Jackson. Dating and driving and feeling on top of the world. I came crashing back to reality pretty hard. But I learned. My brother opened his mission call and left. I realized this year how much I loved the temple.

-Last year the moments of impact are too many. Being on DTV and realizing I loved it. Taking the ACT. Fighting with my parents and loving them the next minute for something they did. Realizing my new house wasn’t the same, that my sisters and I didn’t play some things any more. My brother was gone. Productions which was probably the best thing that happened to me. Being in the Advanced ballet class. Too many things to name.

This year I’m still having moments of impact. And I just hope that I can remember them all and remember how they changed me.

So once upon a time there was a girl named Patsy. Patsy loved Jay and Jay loved her back. They were incredibly happy. They had friends. Named Susan and Jeanette and Jennifer and Tiffany. And then there were the boys named Conner and Anthony and Peter. And Susan loved Conner, but she was dating Anthony because they’d been together forever and couldn’t change it now. And Anthony loved Jeanette who loved Peter but Peter didn’t love anybody because Patsy had broken his heart. And Tiffany really wanted to date Conner but she knew that Anthony would be mad because Tiffany had sworn off men after everything that had happened.

Confused?

So were they.

So Randy got sick. And then I got sick. And he came and brought me flowers, watched movies with me, argued with me when I was grumpy, played with my hair and everything. It was nice, not nice to be sick, but nice to know that while I was sick someone was missing me. Someone cared.

Then I got better 🙂

And then I played with Ash and Spoon over the weekend while Bandy went dancing. It was hawkward, but still very fun. Then Spoon tried to retire his nickname. Silly boy, I’ve been trying to do that for years. Long story short, some things will always be a part of you, whether or not you try to get rid of them.

Silly Spooner.