So I used to write poems. Not so much anymore. But after reading Ash’s and Morg’s…I figured I should start again. Here goes.

You left me drowning.

All of you.

But I figured out how to swim.

With help from unexpected places.

From unexpected people.

And now I can begin again.

This time, it’s different.

It’s strange,

But good.

I’m afraid of drowning again.

Of losing the old.

But I’m more afraid of

Not finding the new,

Of regretting what

Could

Should

Would

Be.

So I’m jumping in again,

Head first.

I’m hoping, wishing, waiting,

Praying

That you won’t let me drown too.

That you’ll be there

If I fall

Stumble.

Not if, but when.

So I went to a good friend’s mission farewell on Sunday. It was incredibly sad. I’ve been to farewells, but this time it hit me that the guys that I spend most of my time with, are going to be gone in a year. I’m not sure what I’m going to do without them. It’s really scary knowing that things are going to change after this year, they already have changed I guess, but they’re going to change even more. But it’s ok. Because this year has already been spectacular, and it’s going to get even better. Because we’re going to become the power couple 😉 Hahaha anyways.

Life is good.

Smile.

🙂

So last night was the Viewmont Davis game. And it was spectacular. I worked and then when I got done, I went to the game, got the best hug of my life, spent time with my friends screaming and cheering for our team, got to see our team win, then spend even more time with friends who I love, and some other people who showed up. All in all, it was a spectacular night.

The thing is, I realized that the score of the football game was also kind of how my life is going. I feel like ever since things changed this summer, I’m soaring. And other people (cough cough) aren’t. Maybe because they’re stubborn and mad, maybe because they can’t grow up and forgive. Either way, my friends and I…we’ve got lots of points. And you have nothing. Zero.

Wanna know how I’m feeling today?

So many nights trying to hide it

But now I stay awake just pleading for more

To think this heart was divided

I’m losing sleep cause I can’t ignore…

Feeling your touch all around

Peacefully hearing the sound

Of silence around us, so glad we found us this way

Find me, here in your arms

Now I’m wondering where you’ve always been

Blindly, I came to you

Knowing you’d breathe new life from within

Can’t get enough of you

I want to be where you are

In times of need I just want you to stay

I leave a note on your car

When I can’t find the right words to say

Hearing your voice all around

The last place we’re going is down

I’ll blindly follow knowing you’re leading the way

Find me, here in your arms

Now I’m wondering where you’ve always been

Blindly, I came to you

Knowing you’d breathe new life from within

With you in time

There’s nothing else

My life stands still

You are the will that makes me strong

Make me strong

If ever alone in this world I know I’ll always…

Find me, here in your arms

Now I’m wondering where you’ve always been

Blindly, I came to you

Knowing you’d breathe new life from within

You sleep, here in my arms

Where the world just shuts down for awhile

Blindly, you came to me

Finding peace and belief in this smile

Find some peace and belief in this smile

Can’t get enough of you

So today was auditions for musical. Whatever. They were great. Everyone in the class is mondo talented. And everyone did really really well. We’re already bonding and learning how to just have fun with each other. Don’t get me wrong, it was nerve wracking. And terrifying. And thrilling. And horrid. All at the same time. But I’m finally realizing that this is us, this year. And that it’s going to be great. I’m not sure how I feel about my audition, to be honest I was more excited and worried about other people than myself. It was fabulous 🙂

Life is wonderful. Yes, school is a slight downer on my life every day, but I’m getting past that. Yesterday we went to Arby’s with our close friends and had a blast, almost got locked in Christian’s van, and gave the workers the greatest names when they had our food ready. DTV is going to be crazy and stressful this year, but I’ve never been more excited.

ALSO. Musical auditions are TOMORROW. Stress much? Yes. I had to write an essay on traditions in my family, and it made me realize how important my family is to me. I have no idea where I would be without them. We aren’t perfect, we aren’t even close. But that’s ok. And for the first time I think I’m finally figuring out how much our crazy fighting ways are perfect for me. My mom helped me go over the songs and I think I’m as ready as I can be. The rest is up to fate.

Fate has been very very kind to me lately. Having a crush on someone who might possibly like you back is absolutely thrilling. So is the idea that something that you never thought would happen, is happening. It’s amazing. You should try it sometime:)

It wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be…it was actually quite good. Seminary was really fun and I like my class and my teacher, MultiMedia will be a breeze, Art History is fun and fascinating, and English has some of my best friends and it’s one of my favorite subjects. It’s going to be a fantastic year. After school we went to Orange Leaf and had a “I survived the first day of school,” party. It was grand.

Last night was the last night of summer. It was so sad. I would say this has been the best summer so far. I didn’t do anything super exotic or crazy, but it was absolutely perfect. It’s so hard that it’s over. This was the summer before everything changes. Things have already started changing, that much was obvious last night. It’s like there’s a wall forming and no matter what anybody tries to do, it’s going to be there. Ashley, Emi and I talked about it today during church, and this year is going to be different for a million reasons. But that doesn’t mean it can’t be great.

On a lighter note…..star gazing is one of my favorite activities. That, and playing on play grounds. Everything this summer was amazing and school is not going to ruin that!!!!

Oh, and today we discussed what we are going to wear on the first day of school and how we are going to get judged by it.

On another note…sorry I’m late on posting. Time is crazy.

This week has been psycho. A lot of things happened…including a massive issue which could potentially change all of our friendships. But change is good. Life was meant to be ever changing. So no matter where we go on this road it’s all going to be ok. Things happen for a reason.

Emily moved in just up the street from Dallin and she used to live in his ward in Cali. She’s really nice, and she made me realize how lucky I am to live where I do. She couldn’t ever go to prom because it was so dirty. She didn’t have any friends at school except for the few people in her ward. I am so lucky to have so many great friends. I am so lucky I can go to prom without worrying about what filthy things are going to happen there. I am so lucky to have most of my friends be members of the church, and all of my friends have similar standards to my own.

On a more fun note….some awesome things happened this week 🙂 Not that meeting Emily wasn’t awesome, cuz it was, but some awesome things happened with a certain someone 🙂 And it’s great…..if you know what I’m talking about lucky you 🙂 Anywho I’m still freaking out about it a little…it’s really different than anybody else. But I’m sure I’ll figure it out.

Audrey Hepburn has the most brilliant quote and I know that Ash has quoted it…but seeing as her favorite color is purple and mine is pink…I have more of a right to it 🙂

“I believe in pink. I believe that laughing is the best calorie burner. I believe in kissing, kissing a lot. I believe in being strong when everything seems to be going wrong. I believe that happy girls are the prettiest girls. I believe that tomorrow is another day and I believe in miracles.”

Basically sums up my life…and life is good, even though its a work in progress.