I know many of you. You’re my good friends who I love to pieces. You’re my co-worker, my high school pal, my college classmate.
Some of you are doing everything you possibly can. And it’s painful and it’s so hard. And my heart feels so much for you. It’s not an easy road for anyone.
But others are in a limbo, stuck. Their hearts are stuck.
You’re the ones who are acting like you don’t care. Dating the wrong girl or the wrong guy. Looking for love and belonging and safety anywhere you can find it.
You can’t figure out why you can’t find the right person.
You want to be cool, recognized, independent, not tied down. But at the same moment you want the comfort and consistency of something else. Something deeper. But the deeper you go, the scarier it is.
You are always wondering if there’s someone better; better looking, better acting, better for you, better for your image.
You’re not willing to let go of the past sometimes. And sometimes you’re not willing to let go of a future “what if.”
You’re dating that guy or that girl, and they don’t treat you right. And you know it. But being needed and having someone is better than being alone. You wonder if anyone else would even want you anyway.
You’re in limbo. You’re waiting. But you’re not sure what’s worth the wait, or what you’re even waiting for.
Let me tell you what’s worth waiting for.
It’s worth waiting for someone who will not just be by your side, but will carry you when you stumble. Someone who sees the best in you, and who makes you want to live up to that every single day. Someone who loves the ugly parts of you. Someone who pushes you to improve, but accepts you for who you are at the exact same time.
There’s a moment, a feeling. It comes when you’re laying in bed, watching their outline in the moonlight. They’re playing guitar and singing softly and you can’t help but feel like you could burst. Because everything is beyond perfect.
It comes when you are driving and you look over and see them, and they’re just talking, and your heart smiles. Because this is what heaven looks like.
It comes when you watch them love your family, chat with your siblings and laugh with your parents, chase your nieces and nephews and cousins around. And your mom tears up when she tells you that they’re such a good person.
It comes as you hear them pray for you so sincerely and earnestly.
It comes when you realize that they will be an amazing mom or dad. And that you want to watch them be that.
It comes after a bad day of school or work when they support and help you and don’t let you give up when you want to.
It comes as you are so completely totally yourself, that you realize you truly weren’t yourself ever before. They make you, you.
It comes when your favorite thing about them isn’t their looks or their talents, but their goodness, and they way they make you feel.
It comes in notes and texts and phone calls filled with encouragement and strength.
The moments like these make every single second you spent without them bearable.
I wish someone had told me these things when I my heart was stuck. I wish someone had told me to stop it. Stop wasting time and energy on someone you know doesn’t treat you right. Stop being the person who is too shallow or impatient or caught up in being popular or cool. Stop selling yourself short. Stop thinking that you don’t need to look for the right person, stop thinking that all these things aren’t factors because you just want to have a good time.
This is for real now. This is for keeps. And every single person you be with may not be the right person, but they can make you better and stronger. And they are all leading up to the big finish.
I wish that I could explain to you how worth it it is. It’s worth it to give up some things. It’s worth it to be the “old married couple.” It’s worth it to not have “fun” by the standards of others. Because you have something that is personally perfect. It’s everything.
It’s worth it to choose right now that you are going to find them. And once you find them, it’s worth it to choose them every single solitary day.
Being in a serious relationship or being married isn’t always easy. And people make mistakes, no relationship is flawless.
My relationship now isn’t flawless. It never will be.
But it is beyond my wildest dreams.
Your heart doesn’t have to be stuck. It can be open to anyone regardless of what your first impression of them is. It can be open to someone you wouldn’t normally consider. It can be ready and waiting and loving and kind. It can look beyond the exterior. It can lead you in the right direction even if it means being hurt. It can help you get into good, healthy relationships.
And eventually the one, right, flawed but oh, so perfect relationship.