Follow Up: 10 Things Girls Who Aren’t Serving Missions Want You To Know

Hello friends. I’m overwhelmed and humbled by the response I’ve gotten to this post. Most of the comments have been positive, but there has been some negative response. So I’m going to address some of the issues that have come forward, clear some things up once and for all so that the real purpose of my message can be the important part. I apologize if I’ve offended anyone, at all, for any reason. That was never, ever the intent of this message. The intent was to inform others of how so many are feeling, and to help change the culture we’re currently in.

  • I wrote this article for a few reasons. I saw so many girls struggle with deciding whether or not to go on a mission. I myself struggled. I felt pressure from every side to serve, and I knew serving a mission would be wonderful. When I got the answer no, it was hard to trust in the Lord and follow what he had asked me to do, because of this pressure. I want other girls who are going through this to know they are not alone, to see the support that they can have, and know that if they choose to serve or not, there is a place for them and people who understand. 
  • Another reason why I wrote this article is to help those who aren’t in this situation understand what these girls (and sometimes boys) are going through. It allows others to understand the situation, and to act accordingly. It helps them know what might hurt the feelings of others, and be as kind as possible so everyone feels they have a place in this gospel. 
  • I have been accused time and time again of being offended. I will openly admit, when I first received my answer about a mission and then heard some of the things people had to say, I was offended. That was months ago. I have since decided that I have no need to be. I am not angry, revengeful, self-serving, or offended. But there are some out there who are offended by what others say about missions. And there are others who are offensive in what they say. My goal is for everyone to be kinder, more understanding, and more Christ-like. 
  • I have also been accused of being insecure in my choice. I can assure you, if I was insecure in my decision, I would not call attention to myself in this way. I wrote this blog to help others who may be insecure in their decision know that there is help out there.
  • I have been told time and time again that being offended is a choice. I understand that, and with all the negative comments I’ve gotten from this post, I’m choosing not to be offended. But as much as not taking offense is a choice, so is not giving offense. My hope with this post is for everyone to understand what someone may take offense at, and to be careful with what they say so they don’t give offense or choose to be offended. 
  • There are those who have said to choose not to serve a mission is selfish. This is not correct. In this situation, I received personal revelation. To not follow God’s plan, to ignore his guidance for me, would be selfish. 
  • There are some who say there is no need for this post, that this isn’t an issue. From the flood of responses I’ve gotten, it’s obvious this is an issue. In our society right now, so many feel forgotten, pushed out, inferior. I want everyone to know there is a place for them in this gospel, whether they serve a mission or not. You can decide to ignore the issue, but it’s real, and so many people feel it all across this church. 
  • I’ve been accused of too much censorship. I only publish comments that are respectful. If I didn’t feel like something was respectful to me personally, or those in my situation, it wasn’t published. I have been nothing but kind and respectful in my posts and replies, and I expect the same of anyone that publishes on my blog. There are several comments of those who don’t agree with me, and these respectful comments were respectfully published and replied to. Also, for those who accused me of being a faker and not a natural redhead, I am 100% naturally a redhead! I’ve never dyed my hair haha!
  • I have been accused of hating missionaries. This is not true at all. Missionaries are wonderful! They are so important for our church. Member missionaries are also important. So are Bishops and Relief Society Presidents, primary teachers and nursery leaders. Everyone has a place in this Gospel! I realize how distinguishing a mission call is. However, there are also things that others do that are distinguishing as well. My only suggestion is to help everyone feel their accomplishments are important. 
  • Not serving a mission does not make anyone inferior. That’s all there is to it, really. If you believe that someone is inferior, or less, because they aren’t serving a mission, then you are entitled to your opinion. But please don’t bash me for expressing mine.
  • I just want less judgment, and more love in the church. I’m not asking anyone to love a sin or a sinner, just extend love to those who may have a different plan. Both options are good options! Both options are Christ-like options. Let’s all help everyone feel their prayerful considerations are valued in this church. 
The intent of this post is to help everyone feel welcome in this church. To help others understand what some sisters (and brothers) around you may be feeling. You can choose to be upset about this, but it’s true. It’s how so many of us feel. 
Thank you for your discussions, your comments, and being willing to listen to what I have to say. I love you all! 

5 Things I Hope My Children Know About The Temple

I haven’t gone through the temple yet, and I’m sure when I do my understanding of the temple will change. But there already a few things I know that I want to teach my children about the temple!

1. We are a temple attending people. I want to go to the temple as often as I can. That will change based on where my family is at; when I have young kids I may not get to go at often, if I live farther away from a temple I may not get to go often. The important thing will be that I go, and that when I do go, I don’t complain. I hope my kids see me smiling, happy to be getting out the door and heading to the temple!

2. Temple garments are important. I hope my children understand that temple garments are wonderful. I hope they know that Mom wears her garments whenever she can, and she doesn’t look for reasons to take them off. I grew up in a house where garments were very important, and that was obvious by the way my parents dressed and by the way they had us dress. In our house, we always wore clothes that could be worn with garments. This helped us learn that dressing modestly wasn’t about not tempting boys, but was about our own preparations for the temple. It helped us realize that modesty was for us, and for Heavenly Father.

3. Temple marriage is eternal. Divorce happens, unfortunately. I hope I never have to go through a divorce, but even if that happens, I want my children to understand that because of the temple, our family is forever. Temple marriage means that families are never-ending. I hope my temple marriage is a source of strength for my children. I hope my kids love this, and it helps them want to have their own temple marriage so their family can be together forever.

4. Covenants are kept. I hope my children see me keeping my covenants every day. Both baptisimal, and temple covenants. I hope they see me following Christ, keeping the commandments, and being the best person I can be. I want them to know that my promises to anyone, especially God, are important and need to be kept.

5. The temple is a House of God. I hope my children know that the temple is one of the most holy, special places in the world. I hope they always know the Spirit can be felt there, and that it is a sacred place. I hope they also know that our home is as sacred as the temple, if we let it be. I want them to see me setting the example of making our home a holy place.

Happy anniversary you crazy kids!

These amazing parents of mine got married 27 years ago. I will never be able to express how lucky I am to call them Mom and Dad, and how grateful I am for everything they do for our family, starting with their decision to get married in the temple, so our family can be together always. 

Just another awesome Treat card! I’m such a huge fan of these cards, their message, and the price! Check out www.treat.com!
Seriously though Mom and Dad, thank you for your amazing life together, and the life you created for me. Your decision to be together has literally make me the person that I am. I’ll always be so thankful for you and your marriage. I love you both so much!

3 years later

I’m getting a little tired of telling the Randy/Maddy story without Randy. For those of you who have had the pleasure of hearing Randy and I tell the story together, you’ll agree I just can’t do it justice alone.

So I’m not even going to attempt. If you want to know what happened that fateful day, click here

Instead, here are a few things…
Randy puts his hands over his eyes when he’s excited.
He hates contention.
He pops my thumbs when he holds my hand.
He’s not afraid of emotions.
He loves shopping almost as much as I do.
He pulls the cart behind him in the grocery store instead of pushing it like normal people.
He tries to be a ballerina.
He never fails to say “the Church is so true!” in every, single letter.
He has more compassion in his pinky than some people do in their whole body.
He loves to sing in the car.
When he’s tired, he makes syrup bottles talk to each other. 
He loves playing the guitar and piano more than just about anything.
He always has one Nilla wafer in his bowl of frozen yogurt.
In all his letters and emails, he promises to make me proud. And he does.
He loves playing all my silly games with me.
He brings me flowers when I’m sick.
He celebrates the little things with me.
He also celebrates the big things with me.
He can read me like a book, and knows exactly what to say and do to make me smile.
He dances in parking lots with me.
Every bone in his body is sentimental.
He lets me stand on his feet to be taller.
He writes me songs.
He pops my back for me.
He rarely gets mad.
He hates disappointing people.
He loves going to the temple.
He holds his own in board and card games.
He talks like a little kid to get what he wants.
He uses words like “childish, ashamed, and foolish” on a regular basis.
He hates stereotypes.
He loves leaving voicemails.
He’s a fan of Chili’s runs and Olive Garden date nights
He’s the best missionary in the whole wide world.
He’s also my very best friend and
I’m 100% crazy about him.
3 years ago I decided to take a chance, and it was the best decision I could’ve made.
Happy 3 years Randy Kazuhiro Low. See you in roughly 4 months.

The Richards

Boy, do I love my family.

Earlier this week we gathered in Salt Lake to have one last HUZZAH dinner at the Roof before my brother and sister-in-law move to Boston to take on Harvard Law.

Um HELLO gorgeous. No filter needed on the temple my friends.

Awww just a boy and his mother…too cute.

We needed a picture, so we thought “ask the missionaries, they can help you!” Yeah…they don’t take the best pictures. But we’re having fun, can’t you tell!
Friends I have one crazy week coming up. Working, internship, moving out of my apartment and cleaning it, having nowhere to put my stuff for six days, going to Boston, saying bye to Ben and Kim, moving into my new apartment, more work and more internship, plus a day to celebrate Randy Low. HOLY COW. I’ll get it all done, right?
The more important thing is, I have one incredible family who are so supportive. Lately I’ve been going and doing some news stories on schools, and seeing kids whose parents don’t care, or aren’t around, breaks my heart. I’m sure lucky. 
Happy Friday everyone!

Adventures in AZ

Well friends, one of my best friends in the whole wide world is married. Can you believe it!

Sarah and Matt are so perfect for each other, and I couldn’t be happier for them! I know they’re going to have a wonderful marriage, and I can’t wait to see what’s in store for them. Love you both!

Sarah and I have been friends since freshman year of college. She’s seen me laugh, cry, laugh until I cry, been there for me when good things happen and when bad things happen, she’s truly helped me become the person that I am. I’ll forever cherish our Fat Five memories, eating nutella together, crazy Sarah, dance parties, mega-bed, and a million other things that perfectly punctuate our friendship. I love you Sar bear! I’m so happy for you.

This is us. 

So Rachel, Hannah and I drove to Arizona to be there for the wedding. 
Our trip went like this: Driving, singing, eating, driving, sheep crossing the road, pictures at the boarder, Flagstaff loving, car dancing with strangers, driving, eating, sleeping, figuring out what songs mean, laughing, driving, looking oh, so lovely, beautiful houses in Mesa, heat, the wedding dinner (complete with jokes, a video of Matt dancing.. 
Sarah’s dad explaining the REAL story, and lots of love), sleeping in the most beautiful house in the world (Darcy is wonderful!), relaxing, heat, getting ready, present exchanges, the temple, the most BEAUTIFUL bride EVER, heat, Dutch Bros milkshakes (five times)…
tacos, more getting ready, the reception, dancing like crazy, Wop, delicious food…
missing Al and Lau, sparklers, love, goodbyes, driving, eating, laughing…

Elk in the middle of the hotel district
the Grand Canyon, driving, driving, driving, crying mental breakdowns, and finally getting  back home. 
All in all, it was an incredible weekend. 

No good deed goes unpunished

Holy cow friends I am behind! So many wonderful things have happened lately and I need to get to blogging about them! Here’s the update according to my iPhone:

July 23 was an AMAZING day. I met my awesome family in Salt Lake City, went to my FAVORITE restaurant (seriously. It’s so good. Go try it.)



And then to my FAVORITE musical!
Aren’t they too cute:) 
Seriously, Wicked is AMAZING. I started legitimately tearing up when Elphaba sings Defying Gravity just before intermission. They raise her up in the air and BAH. It’s too good. 
Then, Pioneer Day! I had so much fun hanging out with Brooke during the Days of ’47 Parade, working for KSL and making sure everything went smoothly. 
I didn’t get any pictures of the rest of my Pioneer Day but it was wonderful! Here in Utah we have a day to celebrate our pioneer history, and the reason why Utah is the great state that it is! I got to spend lots of time with family, eating delicious food, and hearing my mom read pioneer stories. It was a great day:)

Rachel, Kayla and I went to Banana Leaf here in Provo which has BOMB Sri Lankan food! Curry and pa’an and mango chutney for DAYS. Plus an avocado shake! 

And then…Train! This concert was INCREDIBLE. 
Sorry my pictures are horrible #sorry.
But seriously. They are so incredible live! The concert was SO hot and crazy but it was awesome! I got to go with some wonderful friends and make some wonderful new friends, all in all it was incredible. 

Annnnd this is a sunset in Naha, the city where Randy is living. Pretty incredible. I was having one of those no-good-dirty-rotten-terrible-horrible-really-bad-bad-days on Monday when he emailed. He knows just what to say to make me happy and remind me who I am 
“Remember who you are, and who God expects you to become.”
I have a lot of amazing friends who have boosted me up lately when I’ve needed it, plus my incredible family. I love you all so much! 
Happy Wednesday everyone!

10 Things Girls Who Aren’t Serving Missions Want You To Know

Nobody panic, I’m not becoming the spokesperson for girls who aren’t serving missions. This may also apply to young men who aren’t serving! And maybe not every girl feels like this. But I’ve been in situations where I’ve seen girls struggle with the decision about a mission for reasons that they shouldn’t have to worry about. I’m not insecure in my decision, nor am I angry or offended. I’ve just seen so many girls, myself included, become discouraged because of these issues. Some say they don’t see the judgment happening, or that I shouldn’t have to address it. But it’s out there, and I feel like it needs to be addressed, if only so people can understand what it feels like. Also, I know that not everyone assumes things about girls going on missions, some people are very open and happy with anyone’s decision. This is just my rambling to those who I have come in contact with who don’t understand some of these things, and I want to clarify.

10 Things Girls Who Aren’t Serving Missions Want You To Know

1. We still love the Gospel. Yes, that’s right! Just because we aren’t dedicating a year and a half of our lives to solely preach the Gospel, doesn’t mean we aren’t dedicating every day of our lives to the Lord. We are looking for ways to help, serve, teach, and minister every single day. Even though we don’t wear a badge on our chest, we all have “badges painted on our heart” as Elder Nelson would say.

2. When you go on about how attractive sister missionaries are, how you’ll only marry an RM, and how much of a better mom a girl is who has served a mission, it can hurt our feelings. You probably don’t mean it to be offensive, but it is. We look at the path we’ve chosen as inferior in your eyes. We see our future children and wonder if you’re right about their mother and how less spiritual she’ll be. We wonder if we should go and serve solely because it will make us more attractive to you. We think our personal scripture study, the fulfilling of our callings, our desire to serve others, our teaching and helping those around us, isn’t enough. We’ll still be great wives and mothers, promise!
3. We appreciate it when you recognize those of us who haven’t served missions in your lessons/talks. We love missionary work. Honestly we do. What we don’t love, is feeling that we missed out on the only right option by choosing not to serve. The Church’s focus IS missionary work, but that doesn’t necessarily mean a full-time mission. We love hearing about how to serve as a member and how to be an example to those around you no matter where you live. We’re not crazy about lessons detailing how every, single person should serve a mission, it’s always the best option, you’ll never be close to the spirit like you will be on a mission, asking people if they have a mission story they’d like to share, or saying “If you’ve served a mission, you understand this…” This can also offend guys who were worthy to serve, and weren’t able to.
4. We’ve prayed about our decision. I was a little taken back when a member of my ward asked me if I’d prayed about my decision to not serve. That’s a very personal, and very frustrating thing to be asked. So let me just put all your minds at ease, we’ve prayed about it. Or we’re praying about it. We’re going to be obedient to the answer we’ve been given, and hopefully that’s acceptable in your eyes.
5. We aren’t all looking to get married. Sometimes it seems there are two options; go on a mission or get married. Some of us aren’t doing either. Sure, we’re open to the idea of marriage, but we didn’t stay home from missions to get married right away. Some of us are focusing on school, careers, church service, and some of us were just plain told not to serve a mission and we’re making it our goal to be a tool in Heavenly Father’s hands, wherever he needs us. I’ll go where you want me to go, oh Lord…even if that means staying right here. 
6. No two of us are the same. We have different goals, different reasons for not serving. Some sisters don’t have the desire to serve, and that’s ok! Some do have the desire, and couldn’t go for medical or other reasons, and that’s ok too! Some of us have the desire to serve, and through personal revelation realized that serving a mission was not part of our plan. And that’s ok too! Some of us are older, some of us are younger, it doesn’t matter! We’re all different, we all love the Gospel, and we’re all striving to be our best selves.
7. We appreciate when you’re proud of our accomplishments. Sometimes it’s hard to watch you get so excited when someone is submitting their mission papers, gets their call, or is heading out, and not be as excited for the good things we’re accomplishing. Sometimes, we feel like the things we’re doing aren’t important or wonderful. Help us see that going to school, getting that job, acing a test, or taking time out to help others, is exciting and important too. 
8. We’re proud of our fellow sisters. We applaud them and their diligence, we appreciate them and we love them. We want to help the missionaries and show our support for them. We value their service as our sisters and we want them to accomplish great things. Our choosing not to go has no reflection on sister missionary service, or women’s place in the church for that matter. 
9. We are busy. We probably aren’t busy in the same way full-time missionaries are, but we are busy! We’re going to school or working, serving in church callings, helping our families and friends, taking time for personal worship, reading, learning, growing, helping, teaching and a million other things! 

10. We need your love! Sometimes it’s easy to feel down, beaten, and inferior. We appreciate every single person who lifts us up, makes us smile, and helps us realize we aren’t alone. And we love you right back!

Fishing and friending

Friends, family time rocks. This past weekend I was lucky enough to go to Idaho and float the Teton River with my cute fam bam. We’ve floated the Teton a bunch of times and every single time it’s still wonderful. We caught SO many fish and got to spend time hanging out, laughing, and getting just a bit sunburned. If you’ve never done something fun and out-doorsy like this, DO IT. I love fishing and it’s so fun to be with my grandpa who is a master at it. It’s also fun to get a little dirty, take fish of the hook, get bled on like crazy, and walk in cool river water. What a good time:)
My parents WERE there, they just aren’t pictured.

Also. This gem of a best friend of mine had her farewell on Sunday. This also shows our personalities quite well. Courtney gave a FANTASTIC talk and if you haven’t seen my instagram/facebook/twitter post about her….well go check it out. It explains exactly how wonderful this girl is. Kill it in Hungary Short! Miss you already. (Expect updates on this blog about how much I miss Courtney. Realization that she doesn’t live with me anymore number one? The plush, comfy rug is no longer in the bathroom. Also, the “Seriously let’s make out” pillow. Gone.)

This week is busy and full of fun folks! Look forward to more family time as we go see Wicked, celebrate the 24th of July, and experience what it’s like for Maddy to go to the dentist! Should be a good one;)

Happy Monday everyone:)

One day at a time

Last weekend we went camping and then I got to hang out with my fam-bam in Logan for my cousin Zack’s farewell.

Camping was quite an adventure and I loved every second of it.
And darling Kayla is the sweetest friend I could ask for. Talking until 2:00 AM in the bed of a truck? Yes please.
Courtney is leaving me soon, and I’m really sad. But I’ll wait and post about that on Sunday. 

Life is on the verge of changing friends. My brother will be moving away, friends are getting married and leaving on missions, I’ll be moving apartments, I’ll start my last year of college, Randy will be home soon….it’s just all a little crazy.

So I’m enjoying one day at a time. It’s a nice way to live.

Happy Thursday everyone (and happy off to float the Teton River for me!)