The days and weeks are flying by! We are already almost done with March!

This week/weekend we:

-worked and worked and worked
-randy had spring break and actually got a little bit of relaxing, in between going to work
-went to dinner with courtney and tommy
-facetimed with the sweetest niece
-i went to a baby shower for another sweet niece who is coming SOON
-i went prom dress shopping with my mom and little sister which was a blast
-had a delicious st. paddy’s day meal a day late (huge thanks to my mom who is a bomb cook)
-taught church
-had curry with friends
-went on a beautiful sunday walk with the best weather ever
-befriended a gopher and threw grass at him to eat (check out my snapchat @maddyredhead)
-went on a great date to cheesecake factory (thanks to randy’s parents for getting us the gift card!)
-went shopping for some upcoming trips
-laughed a lot

I listened to a talk by Elder Wirthlin that he gave shortly before his passing called “Come What May And Love It” this morning. Man, did that hit the nail on the head for me! I keep being reminded that we need to find happiness in the mess and ugliness of every day, or we’ll never be happy. There are so many things to be happy about. And yes, there are horrible situations that we are facing, and sometimes it’s OK to be sad or upset. Struggling is part of this life. But we can’t let us entirely weigh us down and forget that there are ways to find happiness, even in sadness.

We’ve been moving like crazy people over here! So many things to do, so little time to do them all!

Here’s a little catch up:

1. Randy has been KILLING it at school, I couldn’t be more proud of him!

2. We have both been working like crazy, and we’re both super happy!

3. I finished The Magnolia Story, and trust me there will be a post dedicated to that.

4. We have been taking lots of photos for clients and are loving it!

5. We’ve spent a LOT of time with family lately. This weekend we got to go home to watch Bethany in Davis High’s Spring Play “Everything I Need To Know I Learned In Kindergarten.” It was SO fantastic and it’s always such a treat to see my sister perform. We had birthday cake to celebrate my parent’s birthdays, we woke up Saturday and went to Top Golf which was a blast! My dad won but we all had a blast trying to get better at golfing and tasting injectable donut holes. We then went and hiked Ensign Peak which was super fun, and we took a million pictures. Then it was lunch at Brio and macaroons from Eva (we can’t resist macaroons.) Then it was time for presents before my dad had to leave, and my sister and brother in law went to see the Davis High show!

I feel so insanely lucky to have the family that I have, they are so fantastic and I love how close we are and how much fun we have together.

I promise I’ll be better at blogging and vlogging or some combination of the two!

For now, enjoy some pictures that Randy, Bethany and I took and that Randy edited:)

Mom,

I really wish there were more words to express how much I love you, and how lucky I feel to have gotten you as my mom. You are truly my best friend, and I don’t know how I could get through without you. You make me feel confident and strong, you guide me and help me understand and navigate this life. From music to art, literature and writing, you have helped me develop talents and passions that I wouldn’t have found on my own. You have taught me about the Gospel and gave me a firm foundation in my testimony.

Your example of kindness, service, dedication, intelligence, fashion, and love has inspired me and showed me the kind of person that I want to be. I can’t wait for the years to come when you and I take my kids to the zoo or the aquarium, for Grandma tea parties, for late night chats and more vacations together.

You made our family a wonderful family, and gave us so many perfect memories. You made sure we had habits of scripture study and family home evening, which hold so many fun and testimony building memories. You made each holiday perfect, and still do. You made sure that our vacations were packed with fun and that we laughed.

You have supported me in every single activity I’ve ever wanted to do, you’ve been the volunteer mom extraordinaire, and made sure that I knew that you had my back.

I have so many wonderful memories of you, from learning about gardening, to reading in your bathroom in the summers, to picking out things for our new house, walking to school together, long chats when my junior high friends were mean, long drives to and from the Val Browning Center, seeing you in the audience so many times during performances, talking about books and art, the list goes on and on and on.

Thank you for all the time you spent being my mom, plus cooking, cleaning, driving, counseling, teaching, advising, researching, praying, gardening, growing, strengthening, helping, and more. I have lead a charmed life and it’s all because of you.

There just really aren’t enough ways to thank you for who you are, and who you have helped me become. Happy Birthday, I just can’t wait for the rest of the years ahead and how much fun we will keep having. I love you so much and I’m so grateful for the years that you have spent teaching and guiding me, and others.

Love,
Maddy

Dad,

From teaching me about rock music to teaching me about IRAs, you have always had my back. You always knew the right things to say and the right ways to help me figure out my life. I feel so lucky to have grown up with a dad who was the greatest example about how a father, and a husband, should be. You have always provided and made our family feel safe. I have never worried about what would happen when you were around, I knew we would be provided for and that nothing bad would happen.

Thank you for building up my testimony and never being afraid to share yours. It helped mine grow more than you will know. Thank you for always serving faithfully in callings and being an example to me in that way too.

Dancing with you at my wedding was such a surreal moment, but it was also a dream come true. I feel so lucky to have a father who cares about my happiness and works so hard to make my husband feel like a part of our family.

Thank you for working hard, for cooking and cleaning, and just making sure that I saw and felt love in our home. You were such a perfect example of combining work and fun, and you made cleaning the garage or doing yard work a party.

I have always relied on you to help me and teach me, and getting older hasn’t changed that. I really have loved our new relationship where I can call and ask about work problems or grown-up things. But it doesn’t take away from the days when I asked you about my math homework and you patiently tried to help me, or when I asked to stay up late when I was really little.

Thank you for helping me travel to extraordinary places, go to college, and have a perfect wedding. I don’t take anything you have given me for granted.

Happy birthday, and I can’t wait to spend more birthdays with you and keep growing closer together. I love you so much dad!

Love,
Maddy

So many of my friends are in the dating process, and let me tell you I know how rough it can be! It’s a time of lots of self-doubt, confusion, self-discovery, and working on yourself and on relationships. I have seen my friends meet and get married to really awesome people, and I have seen other friends be with people who don’t treat them well, and leave them hurt.

So it’s time to stop beating around the bush, it’s time for some real talk.

This was my “list” of sorts, for figuring out of someone was worth more of my time and commitment. You may not think these are applicable to you, and that’s your thing! But for most people I know, these 7 questions can save lots of time and heartache.

1. Do they put God first? Yes, even before you. For me, Randy always puts God first, and that is the number 1 thing that has made our marriage happy and healthy. For us, God is an equal partner in our relationship. We make our decisions with him helping us, we grow our relationship around our relationship to Him.

2. Do they make you want to be a better person? A good relationship isn’t about being content, it’s about always working and wanting to be better. Now, this doesn’t mean that they make you feel bad about yourself. It’s the perfect balance of them loving you, flaws and all, but also helping you see the best version of yourself, and wanting to be that person.

3. Do they make you feel safe? Are you safe to have opinions, safe to say no, safe in your own skin, safe in your own beliefs, safe physically and spiritually and mentally and emotionally? This is a tough evaluation, but being in a relationship and eventually being married means that you are the most vulnerable you have ever been. The person you end up with won’t always be perfect, but they will always work their hardest to make sure you feel safe.

4. Do they get along with friends and family? Now, your partner may not always get along perfectly with these people, and that’s OK. But if most of the important people in your life are seeing a problem, it’s a good time to evaluate.

5. Do they keep secrets? Whether it’s about a person they’ve dated, a mistake from their past, activities with their friends, or other things, secrets can be a huge red flag. Now, it’s not always necessary to dredge up every past experience, but if you ask, and they won’t tell you, it’s important to understand why.

6. Do they encourage you in your activities? Do they come to your game or show, do they encourage you to go to your church or family gathering? Do they ever discourage you or make you feel like your activities are stupid? If they do, it will only get worse the longer you’re together. You deserve someone who will always support you in your dreams, your routines, who won’t make you feel stupid or silly for wanting or participating in something. And if they don’t understand your passion, they’ll ask about it and at the very least, respect it.

7. Are you happy? This evaluation is SO hard to do. Because we often mistake contentment, satisfaction, or pleasure for happiness. Real and true happiness is something you are positive about. For me, it was the feeling that I could quite literally do anything with Randy by my side. Of course, getting married or progressing a relationship can come with cold feet or uncertainty, but for me any jitters were always swallowed up in the understanding that I was so happy. It was the certainty that he would never try and hurt me, that he was proud of me, that he respected me, and that he would do anything to continue to help me be happy.

Hope I’m not sounding too preachy over here, I just know how incredibly hard it can be. I consider myself so lucky to have found someone who makes relationships and marriage so fun, and treats me like a queen.

Best of luck for those of you who are looking for the one, it will all work out in the end!

It took me a minute, and then I realized that I DIDN’T POST ABOUT OUR VALENTINE’S DAY!

What on earth is wrong with me?

So here’s the rundown.

Randy and I were lucky enough to get a gift card to La Caille and decided that Valentine’s Day would be the perfect venue for such a date. Valentine’s Day itself had a specific menu and was a little more expensive, so we opted to have our V-Day date on the13th of February.

We got home from our days and got all dolled up, an drove up to La Caille. It’s a gorgeous drive up, light lined trees and swans in the pond. We gave the car to the valet and walked around the grounds a little bit, but it was kinda freezing.

We then went inside the beautiful chateau looking restaurant and waited for our reservation time. When we got upstairs to our table right next to the fireplace and it was SO beautiful. We ordered some fancy French raspberry cream soda which was SO delicious. Then brought bread with the most yummy black-salt butter, and we ordered escargot and French onion soup. Both were SO tasty! It was Randy’s first time eating escargot and he really liked it! I’ve had escargot before and they did a really good job. They also brought out lamb pate and it was SO good. I had never had pate before, and I absolutely loved it!

They brought us a palette cleansing sorbet which was tasty, and then it was the main event (we were already SO full but we made do!)

Randy ordered a filet mignon with crab mashed potatoes and veggies. It was a fantastic piece of steak and such delicious food!

I had scallops with a truffle risotto and vegetables, and MAN it was so good.

The whole time we were there we were people watching, chatting and sharing memories, and just having the best time. We thought the fancy experience was something Muffy and Tipper, our high school fancy alter-egos, would have loved.

We ordered dessert and shared an absolutely amazing chocolate torte with ice cream and cherry sauce. So wonderful!

It was such a fun and romantic night, a fantastic experience that we probably wouldn’t have done without those gift cards! So huge thank you to my boss!

On actual Valentine’s Day, I woke up early and made Randy some breakfast and we exchanged our homemade gifts, which was SO awesome. Randy wrote me a beautiful song, and I made Randy a love-note video. It was so awesome.

Valentine’s Day is all about love, and it was so wonderful to have a special night with the love of my life.

Randy’s 22nd year came to a close, and the 23rd year has begun! I have a feeling this year is going to be a great one, he has so many amazing things ahead.

His 22nd year was filled with:

• Working
• Going to school (and killing it)
• Helping friends, family, and our ward constantly
• Running meetings and teaching lessons
• Getting even better at every instrument (if that was even possible)
• Late night laughs
• Deep discussions
• Letting me lean on him
• Leading our family
• Photo shoots and videography
• Helping with weddings and funerals
• Giving blessings
• Reading lots of books and seeing lots of movies
• Making dinners
• Fun vacations
• Family time
• And so much love!

Someone turned 23 on Saturday, so that meant an entire weekend of PARTYING.

Here’s how it went down.

I had arranged to have Randy get off work earlier than normal. He got home, and I was home for lunch from work. I told him I was working from home that afternoon, but I wanted to go get a treat or something. Before he had gotten home from work, I had packed our bags and loaded them in the back of the car. We hopped in and I started driving towards the freeway. He asked where we were going and I said I didn’t know, I just wanted to go around and go someplace fun! I said I had heard of a juice place downtown that I had wanted to try, so we should go there. We drove and chatted, then I got off the freeway downtown. I turned down a street, and Randy asked where we were going. I said I had made a wrong turn, then pulled through the Little America parking lot. Suddenly, I parked! Randy asked me what we were doing, and I said “Oh we’re staying here tonight.” Randy was in SHOCK. He kept asking where is stuff was and how he was packed. We checked in and I told him everything, from how I’d gotten him off work early to packing the car, and he couldn’t believe it!

We went to City Creek and did some shopping with Randy’s birthday money, and grabbed some dinner. Then it was back to the hotel for swimming and a movie night, complete with treats we’d picked up earlier.

We had breakfast in bed the next morning, and the Little America breakfast is one of my favorites!

We both agreed that this little mini getaway was EXACTLY what we had been needing. Things had been a little stressful and crazy, and spending Randy’s birthday surprising him and doing fun things was perfect.

Saturday was Randy’s actual birthday and we went to Guitar Center, did some more shopping, went to dinner, and just had a super great day. Randy talked to his brother and got so many texts from friends, which was awesome. Saturday night our friends Caleb and Nannette came over and we blew out candles on brownies.

Sunday was family party day! We went to Randy’s parent’s house and had an AMAZING lunch, salmon and rice and stuffed mushrooms, the works! We had a delicious berry cake and had a great time chatting and laughing.

Then we went to my parent’s house where we had an AMAZING dinner, steak and potatoes and roasted veggies. We blew out candles on three different cakes (angel food and chocolate, what else!) and had a great time.

Monday we woke up and went for a walk with my family, playing games at the park, then went and visited my grandparents. Then it was off to Crown Burger for a great lunch. Randy and I were going, going, going, all day Monday! After lunch with the family, we went and saw Lion which was SO AMAZING. I cried like a baby, it was so sad and tender and wonderful.

Then SURPRISE AGAIN – we met up with friends in Provo and had dinner and went to GetOut Games. Randy was shocked again! It was so fun to get to spend time with our friends, and GetOut Games was SO fun, I would go again in a heartbeat.

I took a few videos throughout the weekend, which I’ll be putting together shortly! We also snapped some great photos on an excursion up the canyon last weekend, so I’ll be putting those all together soon too.

So in summary, Randy had a great birthday weekend (I hope, I had fun!) I’ll be putting up a blog post all about him, some videos from the weekend, and our canyon photos soon! So stay tuned!

I think people sometimes get confused about what love is. Sometimes, love is telling someone they are making poor choices. Sometimes it’s telling them you won’t help them. Sometimes it’s helping people see that there are so many other, more important things.

Tough love is a concept that’s hard to grasp for some people. I feel like it’s about loving someone enough to help them, even if they don’t always want or appreciate help.

Of course, sometimes you have to let people make their own choices. You have to stand on the sidelines and let them run their lives.

But that doesn’t mean you in any way have to say that you agree, or help them make poor decisions.

I learned a great lesson about tough love during high school. The tough love came from the most loving person I have ever known, my Heavenly Father.

I didn’t do anything crazy, but I didn’t always make the best choices as a teenager, like many teenagers. I didn’t make some good decisions, and it lead me to a lot of heart ache and hurt.

I remember praying and praying to figure out what to do better, for help to be a better person, etc.

The impression came so clear to me, “Maddy, just knock it off. Just stop it. Just stop being so stupid.”

Now that was probably my own mind saying those specific words, but the message from Heaven was clear. Tough love means that sometimes you’re told to just knock it off. To grow up, to stop making bad decisions. That wake up call was exactly what I needed. It taught me about my life, and it taught me SO much about love.

It’s a hard lesson to learn, but it’s one I am SO grateful for. Love doesn’t mean it’s always easy, sugar coated, lovey-dovey language. Sometimes love means telling someone something, or hearing something, that you didn’t want to hear or say. And you do it anyway.

Because you love them.