I know it’s important not to care too much about “things.”

Things are fleeting, we don’t get to keep them, etc. etc.

But I do think it’s valuable to find joy and love in the “things” around you and in the “things” you are able to have.

I’m a sentimental crazy person who hordes memories and mementos like they’re food storage, and will help keep me alive during the big storm.

But sometimes, these “things” do help us find happiness and love during dark times.

Things like Christmas decorations that were my great-grandmothers. Notes and small gifts from my mom that sit on my shelf. Books from my parents that make me cry when I read them. Jewelry from Randy that he gave me when we were barely dating, and could barely afford it. Pictures and pictures and pictures. The big cozy blanket Randy and I got for our wedding that has kept us warm during a million movie nights. The shirt I wore on the day Randy came home from his mission, and on the day we got engaged.

In the grand scheme, things don’t matter. But it is nice to have things that you love, that make your life happy!

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It wasn’t until I was dating Randy that I realized how huge humor is when it comes to love and relationships. Finding someone who will make you laugh, who will laugh with you and not at your expense, and who thinks you are funny, is so important.

Randy and I spend most of our nights laughing in bed until we fall asleep. We show each other silly memes and videos, or tell stories that get us giggling like a couple of kids. Learning that laughter can make you love someone even more was a huge lesson for me. It’s not something that I really had thought about or realized was valuable.

The biggest thing about love and humor for me, is knowing that Randy doesn’t laugh at me. He will tease me, but he knows where the line is.

I learned this during the tail end of my junior year, when some boys stole my keys and said they were going to go drive my car. If you know high school kids, you know that it is NOT a good idea for other people to go around driving your car as a joke. I knew they wouldn’t give me back my keys, and they thought it was all a funny joke. It wasn’t funny to me.

So Randy being the absolute gentleman he is, went out and stood behind my car so they couldn’t leave the parking lot. Then he retrieved my keys and brought them back to me.

We weren’t dating, I had no idea that he even liked me, he just knew when to laugh and when to stop.

It’s something I admire and adore about him still today.

Be with someone who makes you laugh, who thinks you are funny, and knows where the line is. It will make your life lighter and full of joy.

This post comes from Randy, and I’m so excited to share it with you.

You know when you’re laying in bed, and you can’t fall asleep because you have growing pain in your legs? You think to yourself, “This is great because I’m going to be taller, but I also just want the pain to stop.” That’s sometimes what love is like.

For me, this describes what it’s like as you’re waiting for the right person. You get jealous, you’re immature about your love and that can be so hard. There are also times when the person you love seems happier or better off with someone else, and you feel worthless. And it hurts. But it just means that you’ve got growing pains, and after a while the pain will go away.

As you overcome obstacles and get stronger, you’ll realize you’ve grown taller.

It’s always good to grow. You get pushed and you have to pushed through things. Love is a work in progress in that sense.

I now can look back on the heartache and pain of figuring out love with gratitude, because it led me to where I am, how tall I am. That doesn’t mean it was easy, and that doesn’t mean that it’s easy now. It just means that those growing pains were there for a reason, there’s a purpose to that pain.

Now I’m married to the greatest person in the world. She’s a team player and always believes in me. She supports me and picks me up when I lay on the floor and cry because I feel like a failure. She listens to me even when I don’t know what I’m saying. She brightens every day. And every day I spend with her, the more I grow individually. I believe in MYSELF more. I’M happier. In reality, marriage is easy. I get to spend every day with my favorite person in the world. Love isn’t perfect, but the small pains that come from being in love is worth it. So in the end it’s all good.

Getting taller is tough, but it’s worth it once you get that view in the end.

My family is the biggest example of support that I can think of. Ever since I was little, my parents and siblings and grandparents did what they could to be at every show, concert, performance, etc. that they possible could. I have vivid memories of my poor brother coming to every ballet recital and Nutcracker show.

We went to track meets, jazz concerts, choir concerts, band concerts, plays, recitals, performances, the list goes on and on. It was so wonderful to watch my siblings do the things they loved, and I loved performing knowing that my family was watching.

A couple specific instances of learning about love and support come to my mind. My mom always signed up to help and volunteered to do extra to make the shows go well. She ran the entire elementary school Olympics for years, coordinating all the volunteers and making sure everything went smoothly. My dad helped her run this, and took the entire day off of work to work the stopwatch and help do the calculations of the winners. My dad also took charge of the chess tournament during school, and made sure everyone had a good time.

My mom came to almost every single tech rehearsal and dress rehearsal, and almost every performance for my entire ballet career. I cherish so much the times we ran to get dinner together and talked about the show, or she brought me a snack and we sat quietly together in the hallways of the Val Browning Center.

I remember one time during my senior year of high school, my sisters were still doing the Nutcracker, but I was unable to because I had chosen to be in the musical at the high school. My mom would be working backstage during the Nutcracker so she would only be able to come see two or three nights of my show, instead of all five nights, which was fine and still beyond kind.

But my dad came to my last show, bearing flowers. He had gone to see my sisters in the Nutcracker the night before, and had made time to come see my show too, even though he didn’t have to, he’d already seen it with my mom the week before.

Love means supporting people when they’re doing the things they love. It means when your friend invites you to a strange poetry reading that she’s performing at, you go. It means when you can, taking time to go to that art museum, or taking a look at a paper or website or book.

I learned this lesson so much from my family, and again from my sweet husband who has always been so incredibly supportive.

Have you ever seen that office episode where Jim and Pam get married? At the beginning of the episode, Pam talks about how they need to take “mental pictures” throughout the day to try and remember everything.

I love this idea so much.

I have had several moments where I have taken “mental pictures” to try and remember a feeling, and it has taught me so much about love.

For me, love is combined with nostalgia. I get made fun of all the time for being the person who loves thinking about the past and making a big deal out of the little details, but for me, love is about remembering those mental picture moments.

The moment Randy and I drove to the front runner station, listening to music, my feet on the dash, and I thought I would burst.

Sitting in the back of my friend’s jeep during freshman year of college, giggling and telling stories, going to get donuts late at night.

Camping with my family and eating caramel popcorn in my grandma’s trailer, smelling the smoke from the fire.

Running through City Creek eating chicken nuggets on the way to a Christmas concert.

Driving to the temple on my wedding day, blasting Bad Blood by Taylor Swift for no reason at all.

Playing house with my sisters every, single day of summer break.

Staying up late chatting with my parents about this or that, or nothing at all.

Holding my sweet niece for the first time.

Love is keeping those moments special, and knowing that part of love is remembering, and part of love is moving forward. It’s finding the balance between looking in the past, and having it propel your future.

Love has taught me that it’s not bad that I’m a nostalgic person, but that it’s a way for me to keep those feelings in my heart. And having love in your heart is never a bad thing.

It’s always fun that Randy and I got engaged during February, I get to kick of my celebration of “love month” with a great reminder of the beginning of our forever love.

Randy and I knew we were going to get married. We had looked at rings and I had identified a few styles that I loved, trusting him to make the final decision.

Crazy Utah summer wedding season meant we had already put money down on some elements for our wedding so we could get venues and vendors that we wanted, for the weekend we wanted.

Randy had talked to my dad, and I knew that he had.

To be honest, I had woken up every morning for the week prior, and had immediately texted Randy, teasing and asking if we would get engaged that day.

I knew I was going to say yes.

But I learned a very important lesson when I actually said yes.

Love requires risk.

I was absolutely certain of my decision when Randy and I got engaged, but that didn’t mean there wasn’t a risk. There’s always a risk. There was a slight risk when Randy asked, that I would say no. Even if he knew I would say yes, there’s always that chance.

I knew that I would love Randy forever and that he would be good to me. I knew we would be happy. But we were young, Randy had only been home for a few months, there were some people who weren’t too happy about our decision. All of these were risk factors.

And we moved forward, willing to grab that risk and let love take control.

Now obviously, there are some risks that aren’t worth love, or what you think is love. There are so many cases of abuse where people think they’re just taking a risk, when really what is going on isn’t love.

But in healthy, good relationships there are always risks. Risks of being vulnerable, of hurting them, of them hurting you. Between parents and children, spouses, friends, there are always these reasons to say no. To stay away from the risk. But then, you take the chance of never truly being happy.

I’m so glad that I learned about love and risk that day, 2 years ago, when Randy got down on one knee. I took the risk that day, and said yes. And I will forever be so grateful that I did.

The first lesson on love that I really remember happened when I was really little, probably 3 or 4 at the most. I was invited to a birthday party at my good friend’s house, just a couple houses down from where my family lived. I walked over with my parents and then they left. Just a few minutes into the party I was overwhelmed and scared. There were so many adults that I didn’t know, my friend had her aunts and uncles invited, a bunch of her other friends and cousins that I didn’t know, and all I could feel was panic and fear. I just wanted to be home.