My brain is wandering today. It has been for a few days actually. I’m caught in this rut of deep thoughts and targeted musings and I’m not really sure what to do with them all. I get in these moods sometimes, where it feels like the best thing to do is write it out and hope for the best. It’s nostalgia and hesitation and the back corners of my brain all getting together to spit something out.
It’s a million things that fell together and make me feel like a writer for a minute. Even though I’m really not at all.
It’s listening to “Photograph” by Ed Sheeran and feeling a tug – remembering how often I listened to it when I was waiting for someone to come home. It’s a particular discussion on a late night drive home about the past and the future and seeing his eyes focused on the road ahead of us. It’s reading a paragraph outside in the city that understands me. It’s looking at the lives of other people on my little screen, and realizing that there’s some things I’m not missing. It’s chocolate melting on my tongue as I cross a busy street after a long day. It’s the quiet morning where I almost start to cry because I can’t believe how lucky I got.
I’m not really sure what the point is here. Just that it takes courage to be alive. Not just to live, but to actual feel and care. It takes courage to accept the things you can’t change, to forgive, to move on when you need to and hold on when you need to.
So I guess this has just been brain wanderings today.