Love is an accomplishment. 


Recently I read an article on the Huffington Post detailing how love, and marriage specifically, isn’t an accomplishment. The author’s argument is summed in this paragraph from her article:

“In my opinion, getting married should never be put in a higher regard than the academic and professional successes that women work hard to attain. You don’t have to have a brain, drive or special skill set to get married. You just have to have a willing partner. However, getting into X school, graduating with Y degree, and landing Z job does require actual hard work.”

Reading this article made me a little sad, because I couldn’t disagree more. 

I am so proud of getting my Bachelor’s Degree in just three years, graduating Magna Cum Laude, landing a job that I love and excelling at it, doing freelance work on the side, and more. These are accomplishments that I am proud of, and worked very hard for.

But if I’m going to be 100% honest, my love and my marriage with Randy mean just as much, if not more to me than them all combined.

Unfortunately, the importance of marriage and love has been diminished in the world today. I fully understand that not everyone will marry in this life, that others will go through painful marriages or lose their loved ones too soon. My thoughts on this in no way diminishes their situation and their accomplishments. My point is this. That in the world today we are placing less value on marriages and families, and couldn’t that in some way be contributing to more and more of them falling apart? If marriage and love and creating a family isn’t an accomplishment, then why would anybody do it?

Marriages and families are the cornerstone of our society. Without them, there isn’t a structure. There isn’t stability, a place to begin teaching children, a place of nurture and love. The love of a family that leads to the stability of society, starts with the love of a couple, their engagement, and their marriage. 

Marriage is incredibly hard work, and so is the decision to marry when it’s taken seriously. Which it should be every time. It DOES take work to be in a relationship. To get to know someone. To love them, and to let them love you. It takes so much hard work to get on the same page enough to where you decide to commit to each other for life, and beyond. 

I think that if more people think of engagement, marriages, and love as an accomplishment, there might be more people fighting to stay together, or fighting to start a life together instead of waiting for it to be easy. 

I think we should be placing more emphasis on education, career changes, etc. We should be valuing those accomplishments. But that doesn’t mean we should value the accomplishment of falling in love and choosing to spend every day working for a marriage, any less.

On top of the worldly reasons that marriages and families and love should be valued, I have an additional reason. We don’t take our degree to Heaven. We don’t take the money that our big career promotion earned us to Heaven. We take our family. So the person that you marry, is the most important person in the world. It’s the most important decision and accomplishment you will make. It will set the course for your career and how you choose to proceed, your family and how they are raised, where you live, what you learn, and how you grow. 

Love, engagements, and marriages are accomplishments. Huge ones. And I am so proud of the work and effort I put into my marriage every day. 

You guys. This weekend just got away from me and the planned posts did not go up as planned!

day 12 and 13

Day 12 – So this Friday we had our friends Caleb and Nanette come over for dinner and games. It’s always so fun to get to hang out with our friends, and it really got me thinking about friendly love. I loved Randy like a friend before I ever fell hard for him. Finding good friends who make you want to be better, who will help you through the tough times, and will be there for you when you need it most, that’s the dream. Having family that’s also your best friends, and a spouse who is the ultimate BFF is also part of that dream. Loving friends remind us that we aren’t alone in this crazy life, and I’m so blessed to have the best friends, family members, and ultimate BFF.

Day 13 – Love is selfless. Love means giving them the last bite of chocolate cake, spending hours doing an activity they love, listening to their music in the car, cooking their favorite dinner even if it’s not your favorite, wandering the aisles of Target, and so much more. It means truly seeing that person as Christ sees them, and doing anything you can to give them what they want and need.

Stay tuned – the last day of love is coming today!

Love is undeniable (Randy post)

The last week has been difficult for my hometown. Our high school lost two beautiful girls within just a few days of each other.

I knew Jazmyn fairly well, worked with her, laughed with her, loved her.

I didn’t know Sadie very well, she was in one of Randy’s seminary classes and I remember passing her through the halls, and seeing her cheer at football games.

It is devestating that they were taken so soon, and my love and prayers go to their families.

I feel so blessed to have even interacted with these girls a handful of times. They were both a light to those around them, and were examples of Jesus Christ.

It’s been truly wonderful to watch all different kinds of people from the same small hometown, rally together. Express love, sorrow, concern, and hope.

I can’t even express how much I love scrolling through my social media feeds and seeing the many testimonies of the Plan of Salvation, of Jesus Christ, and of eternal families. Through the sorrow, many people reach for Christ and rely on their testimony of Him and His plan. It has strengthened mine to see so many people confident, sure, and thankful for the knowledge they have of where these two sweet girls are.

Love from God is the opportunity to have eternal families, to see our loved ones again, and the chance that we have to have an absolute knowledge of that here in this life. I am 100% positive that there is life after death. I am 100% positive that Jesus Christ perfectly understands the sorrow that death brings, and can help us get through it because of the Atonement. He can help. He can heal.

I’m so grateful for that love from God and Jesus Christ, and the love of a hometown where people are caring, kind, and so willing to share their testimony.

I remember very vividly coming home from school in the 7th grade, with a note from friends of mine, telling me that they didn’t think the friendship was working out. I ran off the bus after a horrifying 20 minute ride with those very friends. I sat further up in the front than we normally did, away from the gang. I listening to music and sat by someone I knew from my neighborhood, that wasn’t in that particular friend group. I didn’t talk, just put in some headphones and silently counted the blocks and familiar landmarks that lead to my house.

I jumped off the bus at my stop and ran towards my house. I walked in the front door crying. My dad was home from work earlier than normal, and he was vacuuming the house while my mom mopped. They both asked me quickly what was going on. I produced the note, and the crying continued.

My parents were both furious. And looking back now, they weren’t furious for the same reasons I was. They were so sad that I was having to go through that. They told me it was ridiculous, they told me that those friends of mine weren’t really my friends, they went through the list with me of other friends that I had to spend time with. They told me I didn’t have to go to a ward activity that evening where some of those friends might be. I remember my dad saying “That is just…aght…” and shaking his head. I remember my mom getting very serious and saying “You know what, those girls don’t have any idea what friendship is. So what if you don’t all like exactly the same things? That’s ridiculous.”

I remember having late night conversations on the stairs with my parents about this group of friends as I went back and forth with them for the next two years.

But I’ll never forget how they never brushed off my feelings, no matter how irrational. They let me cry, and be embarrassed and hurt.

They let me feel.

They also loved me enough to let me fix things in my own way. No phone calls to parents. No party throwing to try to woo them back. They knew eventually I would figure out the right path, the right choices, and make them. They just let me be sad, and vent, and work it out in my own head while they gently gave guidance and assurance.

They loved me enough to let me feel.

And I will always be so grateful for that.

Sometimes we don’t want the people we love to feel pain. We don’t want them to hurt. That’s a factor of love. But loving is also understanding that feeling is living. That it’s a part of this life, and that sometimes we need to let the people we love, feel. We need to be by their side while they feel instead of asking or willing them to stop.

Love is being yourself because you know no matter how you are feeling, the people who love you will understand and be OK with it. It’s laughing as loud as you want, crying as much as you need to, venting more than necessary, and smiling for no reason at all.

Love is being raw, emotional, passionate.

Love is feeling.

[Love day 8]

love is never static.

I’ve heard a few times how junior high kids and teenagers aren’t capable of love. They say the words, and have no idea what it really means.

I couldn’t disagree more.

Even tiny kids with a crush, feel that as intensely as they can.

I fell in love with Randy as a 17 year old girl. It’s not even close to the same love I have for him now. It’s not even the same kind of love I had for him when I was 19, or 20, or 21. It won’t be the same love I feel for him when we have kids, grandkids, and more.

Love is always moving, never static, ever changing.

As a 17 year old girl, that love I felt for Randy was real. It was the love I could feel at that time in my life. And I will keep striving every day to love Randy, my family, and my friends, with all the capability of my heart. As we grow, experience things, learn, and progress in our lives we learn to love even more. To love deeper and stronger.

I’m so glad that I had crushes, glimpses, and moments of love. I’m glad that I still am learning how to love better, stronger, and more. I hope my love never becomes static.

Whoa. I’m behind now friends.

So here’s the love days six and seven coming at ya!

[day of love 6]

Love is a forever family. I have the best family in the universe. I can’t get over how lucky I am! And, I also am so lucky to know that my family can be together FOREVER (said in the Sandlot voice. you know. FOR-EV-ER).

But really. Why would I not want to be with these guys for eternity?

Walking through the Provo City Center temple with my family just resonated that again and again to me. We have the chance to live in perfect happiness, together, all of us, forever. I don’t want to be the one who isn’t there because I messed it up. No empty chairs in heaven.

Love is knowing that even though we’re not all perfect, we love each other and are excited for forever because we all will be perfect, and it will be perfect to be together.

[day of love 7]

Love is finding the little things that make you smile. Whether it’s a football game, some nachos, little smokies, or in my case buying adorable things at Target for Valentine’s gifts. Finding the little things every day that make you happy is finding the love in your life, and relishing in it. This life is tough, and it would be super easy to find all the bad things and never see tiny moments where you can absolutely love your life. It would be way to easy to do that. Instead, we have to fight to find the moments full of love and laughter, and hold on to them.

Trials and tribulations are mandatory. Misery is optional.

So find the little pieces of love and hold on to them!

Due to some unforseen complications, I wasn’t able to post love day 4 yesterday.

That means – TWO DAYS OF LOVE FOR THE PRICE OF ONE.

Should be pretty good:)

Love Day 4:

Love is forgiving. People aren’t perfect, even those we love. And sometimes, the people that we love the very most are the people we take for granted the most often. The people that we love spend the most time with us, so we sometimes don’t recognize their needs, or understand that by being concerned about how others view us or how we can help others, we are neglecting those loved ones who need us most.

I read a blog post a while ago where the blogger said she wanted to put her husband first. I thought “Isn’t that what you’re supposed to do?” She went on to explain even more, saying that she always tried to put him before herself, but that didn’t always mean she was putting him before everyone else. When their friends would ask if they wanted to do this, or eat with them there, she would want to be easy going and helpful for them, and respond “We can do whatever!” She explained how she recognized that often she was putting other people before her husband, because she wanted to be helpful to others.

That kind of hit me, and one of my New Year’s Resolutions this year is to always put Randy first. I’m not always good at this, and so I’m very lucky that Randy is forgiving.

Love is recognizing the weaknesses in those around you, and not using those weaknesses against them. Not using those weaknesses to bring them down, or even pointing them out in any way other than in complete kindness.

Love is forgiving someone when they don’t say they’re sorry, and forgiving them without expecting them to. This can be so incredibly hard.

But that forgiveness is the true character of love.

Love Day 5:

Love is laughter. Nobody makes me laugh or smile as much as Randy Low, my family, and my friends. Randy especially just makes me giggle all the time. Love is learning not to take life so seriously, and recognizing that there are hard times as well as wonderful, fun times. It’s about embracing those times, making memories, and learning to laugh through all the hard times too.

I’m so thankful that I have family and friends, and most of all a wonderful husband, who help me learn not to take everything so seriously. It’s so good for me to relax, and just spend some time laughing with the people that I love.

Love is patient.

I was reminded of this today when I got to have a chat with a cute girl, who had a boy she was dating leave on a mission today.

It can be so hard to be far away from people we love.

It can be hard to trust in the Lord and in His timing. Sometimes it seems like it would be easier if things would work out the way we want them to, when we want them to. Which is usually right now.

I got a lot of flack for writing Randy when he was on his mission. People who didn’t even really know me or Randy were telling me that I was distracting, that he couldn’t possibly be a good missionary while I was writing him, and other things.

That taught me another aspect of love being patient – being patient with others who weren’t sure that I was making the right decisions.

Love is all about understanding that timing is everything, and that sometimes being patient is what will help it work out. Randy sure was patient when we were in junior high and high school, waiting for me to figure it out. Then it was my turn to be patient. And now, every day we try to be patient with each other while we navigate our tricky lives.

Happy love day three everyone:)

A year ago, my life changed drastically.

A year ago what I thought was a night out with one of my best girlfriends, turned into a forever night with the ultimate best friend, and the love of my life.

Today the love bug bite is all about remembering when we decided to spend our life together.

Check out the full engagement story

It was the easiest “yes” of my life, and the most important answer I had ever given.

Deciding to marry my high school sweetheart, my missionary, my best friend – it was easy.

The road up to making sure it was the right decision wasn’t always easy, but that night I knew I had never been more sure about anything.

Love is learning about someone else. Love is seeing the best and worst sides of someone. Love is thinking and weighing and choosing. Love is taking the risk when you have no idea what the future will hold. And love is confidence in that no matter what the future holds, you want to experience it together.

I remember waking up the next day and looking down at the ring on my finger. It seemed completely surreal.

I used to really believe in the idea of soulmates. And then as I got older I found out that the Church doesn’t really teach that. And that kind of bothered me.

Until I figured out something.

There’s a lot of good people in this world, and two people who are putting God first in their lives and who are working hard at it, can make a marriage work.

Obviously there are types of people who work best together, who enjoy the company of each other the most, who have the most fun together, who have chemistry.

But arranged marriages have worked for hundreds of years, and many people say they’re extremely happy.

Two people can make a marriage work.

So it’s not about finding the only person who you can hack it with, because there are probably a few different people you could hack it with.

It’s about choosing.

I chose to make Randy my soulmate, and he chose to make me his. We chose each other – fully realizing we could keep on looking, keep on dating, etc.

We chose each other, and we chose us.

And we keep choosing that every day.

On the hard days, on the bad days, on the sick days, and on the wonderful and happy days.

We choose our love, our marriage, and each other.

Love is a choice.

That’s the sentiment today. And a year ago, I chose to say YES.

Happy anniversary of our engagement my love.

And happy love day 2 to the rest of you!

Also – check out advice to my engaged friends